Irritability might seem harmless, but it conceals a pride that says, “I should not suffer this,” while love suffers and is not irritable (1Cors.13:5.) God has been convicting me of this pride, and I pray he will convict you too, if you fall into this temptation. Please join me as I explore Satan’s trick to feed our sin nature’s ego when we frequently express irritability.
If you are rarely irritable, this pride has no strong hold in your life. You may just have had an off-moment of this irritation and are normally very humble. But if you asked people closest to you whether they see you being irritable often or rarely, please listen to their answer. Our closest friends and family know us well. Before we can heal from sin, we must acknowledge it exists. God can only forgive and heal the sins you confess. So ask Him to reveal any frequent irritability.
I had never considered this sin until I heard a radio episode from “Adventures in Odyssey.” The character, Nathan, lived in Colonial America, and he had to endure terrible hardship. Enemies tried to kill him. He had no electricity, or running water, yet he willingly jumped into a lake to protect himself from a wasp swarm, even though he wouldn’t have a washing machine and dryer to care for his soaked clothing. Instead of grumbling, he expressed his joy in Christ, and his willingness to suffer for Him. He laughed easily and was patient and kind to new people he met. He was strong, enthusiastic and likeable. He never expressed irritability. He was humble.
I have associated humility with meek people, but I did not think of them as strong, joyful, bubbly, enthusiastic, and driven to fulfill a cause, as the character, Nathan was. And I never thought of the complete lack of irritability as a sign of humility. Yet the Apostle Paul specifically said, “Love is not irritable (1Cor.13:5) while also listing all the good qualities of love (patient, kind, not envying, not boasting, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not irritable, keeping no record of wrong, not delighting in evil, rejoicing with the truth, always protecting, trusting, hoping, always persevering.) All of the bad qualities, that Paul said are not part of love, show a lack of humility.
While loud, uncontrolled anger clearly is wrong, irritability hides out as a lesser form of uncontrolled anger. Anger is not sin if we let God control it and use it for his glory. But irritability complains about what we did not want and got, or what we did want and did not get (James 4:2a “You desire and do not have, so your murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”) Irritability disguises itself as reasonable concerns about difficult circumstances. But true concerns look for solutions to problems. True concerns lead us to ask God for help and to thank him even before he gives us what we want while we still suffer from our bad circumstances. Irritability hides a thankless heart of pride. I had never fully recognized this until I heard the character, Nathan, shine in his lack of irritability. Being humble did not mean he was weak or intimidated. He was bold and courageous while being humble. This is also true for shy, introverted people. They can also be brave and thankful and truly humble, in their quiet way.
It wasn’t the extroverted personality of Nathan I noticed. It was his lack of irritability that impressed me, because as a wife and mother, I am concerned with things this man suffered, from messes to hunger and cold. As a mother, I have to clean messes, feed a hungry family, and look out for them so they stay warm. So I understood these physical deprivations Nathan suffered. As a result, I ask myself, would I have expressed irritability if I or my family suffered from these things the way this Nathan suffered? Maybe.
While I know “grumbling and complaining are sins (Phils.2:14, “Do all things without grumbling and disputing”), irritability can seem innocent. I might say, “I only answered in an irritable voice,” but that voice would still have expressed a complaining heart, hidden under the tone. I would have known, in my heart, that I wanted a different experience from what I go when I used such an irritable voice. This is true, whether the cat poops on the floor, or when I see wet towels thrown on the ground, or when I catch myself spilling things. It is OK to cry out in pain. It is OK to admit I would have liked different circumstances, if I do so in an honest expression of pain and sorrow, not while speaking with a sinful sense of entitlement.
Irritability differs from sincere pain and sorrow, which admits that life is hard. True sorrow does not judge the hardships and say they are unwarranted. And I know God does use some pain and suffering to draw me back to him (Psalm 119:67, 71, 75 “I used to wander off until you disciplined me; now I closely follow your word.”+ “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.”+ “I know, O Lord, that your regulations are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it.”) But my reaction after I express my pain and sorrow will either lead me to God where I ask him to comfort and guide me, or my pain will lead me to feel irritable and maybe even express myself that way, as I demand that my life be easier or complain because it is not.
I am not sovereign in my life. I handed the keys of my life to Jesus. He and the Father decide what happens in my life, and sometimes he actively plans for me to suffer, not because he likes my suffering (Lamentations 3:32-33 “Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.”) Jesus wants to refine me and then enable me to use my suffering to help others ( Gens.50:20 “You meant to harm me, but God meant it for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” + 2Corinthians1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”)
I thank God for revealing yet another sin I had allowed to hide in my heart. Now I am asking God to help me catch my irritability every time it shows up in my heart and words. I might never become as likeable as the character, Nathan, was. I should not compare myself with someone else. I just need to be the best Debbie I can be, through Jesus’ power. He can help me resist the urge to express irritation and instead to call out for help and mercy, and then to accept whatever outcome God offers me. He knows what is best for my life, and he will guide me so I can be totally likeable to Him. He already finds me loveable.
I pray this post inspired you to examine your life so you can ferret out any irritability you may have indulged in your life. Never judge yourself, if you have lived with frequent irritability up to this point. God always welcomes us, to forgive us and to help us surrender to him. He can help you, even as he is helping me, to recognize and then stop this prideful irritability. Then we can be a joy to others, and we will find more joy in our own lives too. Thanks for joining us in this week’s post. May our Lord Jesus Christ richly bless you this week!