Some people lie to us, and over time we don’t realize we have begun to believe them, until we catch ourselves living out the lie. Whether these people tell us we are stupid, ugly, fat, incapable, unspiritual, not good enough, etc. it is Satan who inspires them to lie. The frequency and familiarity of those lies can actually overwhelm our defenses, so that the lies seem true. But Jesus is the truth, and he has a better plan for our lives. Please join me as I explore some of these lies and the ways we might begin to believe them.
People who tell these lies are not truly free, instead they act this way as puppets of Satan. In John 8: 44, Jesus described them, “For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” These people were wounded in their earlier years (youth or young adulthood.) Rather than facing their hurt and anger towards the ones who hurt them, they strike out at easy targets—we who are kind and loving. They are afraid of confronting the people who actually hurt them. Instead they blame us for their anger and abuse, but we are not at fault.
Although we did not cause their anger, they may work tirelessly to convince us we did. At first we think we are strong enough to resist their lies. But our hearts may tell us otherwise. We might begin to doubt our ability to work and make money. We might no longer feel attractive (and I also mean older women—we should never feel ugly at any age.) We might think we are a bad spouse, parent, friend (or bad in any other relationship) despite friends and other family members loving us and thanking us. There are many areas where we may begin to doubt our God-given gifts. We might feel strong in a few categories, but there may be one or two areas where we have begun to harbor doubts about ourselves.
At those times we must limit our exposure to people if their destructive lies begin to seem true to us. In Jeremiah 15:19b, God says, “You must influence them; don’t let them influence you!” Even in areas where I am strong, some people badger me with so many frequent insults, eventually their lies seem familiar, even true. At that point, I must limit my time with them. I pray against these lies, but when I love a person who is cruel and insults me (with lies), I feel pain that I would not feel if a stranger or mere acquaintance had lied about me. And recently when I found myself being harsh with myself, I realized I was acting harshly towards myself, the way one person, in particular, had been treating me.
God had to be especially obvious with me by having other people speak kindness and truth into my life, even strangers in stores who met me. They saw and then pointed out my strengths. This was amazing, because these were the very areas where the other person had been tearing me down. I had begun to think my gifts and abilities were waning in these areas. What had really waned was my awareness of God’s gifting me with those strengths. Instead I had let this angry person take up space in my mind. Whether we are related to a person by blood, marriage, or as close workmates or schoolmates, when we spend frequent time with harsh people we may not recognize their negative impact on us over time.
I wrongly assumed I had overcome this trap of Satan, because I memorize and repeat Scriptures. I do feel strong in many ways. But there were a few areas in life where I had really begun to feel weak and unworthy. Satan was wise enough to not make me feel totally incompetent. As a result, I felt my use of Scripture as the sword of the Lord, had been sufficient. But God knew I needed a few friends to speak specific truths into my life, and even strangers I had met spoke those words. I realized their words totally contradicted some mean things a certain person had been saying. I had left a small door open to Satan, without even realizing I had done so. And the pain actually hurt, even though I feel like I have the joy of the Lord in my heart.
I think that I had gotten so used to using Scripture as my sword that I forgot that a Christian needs to use all the weapons God gives her. God also gives me the gift of the Holy Spirit and his discernment. I had not been discerning what was happening in my life, especially when I was forced to associate with this angry man. I thought that since I used Scripture against the lies the world says, and since I limited my exposure to various angry people, I was safe. But I was leaning so hard only on the Word, but I was not praying with listening ears. I was speaking Scriptures, but I was not listening to the whispers of the Holy Spirit. And he does not yell (in 1 King19:12, God spoke “After the fire, {in} a still small voice,…” and both Isaiah 42:2 and Matt.12:19 say of Jesus that, “He will not cry out, or shout or raise his voice in public.”)
God calls us to use all of the weapons he gives us. When we rely too heavily on one, while neglecting other ones, it could be compared to eating too much of one good food and not enough of others. Leafy green vegetables are good. But we also need protein rich foods, for example. This is why we must closely listen to the Holy Spirit. We need to make sure our thinking aligns with the Scripture. In fact, I may have gotten so used to reciting the Scriptures I had memorized, I was not paying attention to what they are saying. My memory verses may have become a “job” and not a joy for me to consider. God’s word is a joy, but when we allow our rehearsing of Scripture to become rote, we don’t really hear those words. I truly needed to do as God told Ezekiel in Ezek.3:10b-“Let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself.”
I am so glad God used my friends and even strangers, whom I met in stores, to tell me the truth. I let that truth sink into my heart. Now I am also being more careful as I rehearse the Bible verses I memorized. I am practicing listening better to the Holy Spirit too. I have friends who also have to deal with some very angry men and angry family members. They also have to resist the lies these people speak so they don’t begin to treat themselves harshly too. Sadly the frequency of lies spoken can weaken our defenses so we believe them. Therefore we must rehearse the truth of God’s love for us instead. Truly he has the best plans for our lives, so let us listen to him instead. May the Lord bless you this week!