Some people demand answers for why they have been offended by Christians who mistreated them. Sometimes a Christian did not harm the offended person but wisely stood up to that person’s unreasonable demands. At other times, the victim mistook a fake Christian for a true believer. And sometimes a true believer did hurt the offended person. The world looks at these offenses and says Christians are hypocrites, so a true believer needs to understand how the offense occurred before she can answer the offended person.
The secular world holds double standards about what they do versus what a true Christian does. Worldly people forgive their own people for sinning but not Christians. The world demands Christians never sin but expects nonbelievers to sin. Yet Scriptures says all people sin, even true believers (1John1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”) The unbelievers want God to forgive them, but not the sinning Christians.
In partial defense of secular people, Christians should expect better behavior of themselves. When a true believer hurts another person, she needs to apologize and make restitution to the hurt person (whether financial, emotional or other restitution.) The Christian should acknowledge how she has hurt the other person, acknowledge the victim’s feelings and imagine herself in the victim’s place so she can better understand how she can make amends. When the victim realizes his feelings are respected, he may forgive the offender. Sometimes the victim will be so angry and judgmental, he will never forgive the Christian, even though he would have forgiven a fellow unbeliever. Ironically, this unforgiveness and double standard is the true hypocrisy.
Sometimes people claim they were offended by a Christian, but they were actually turned down, because their demands were unreasonable. Worldly people might demand money, time, and attention the Christian cannot or should not give. Although nonbelievers do not live by the Bible, its truths still stand, such as this one: “He who will not work, neither shall he eat,” (2Thes.3:10.) Christians are not obligated to give what others should earn for themselves.
There are so many, many circumstances where unbelievers have demanded too much of Christians, financially, emotionally and through other resources. Unsaved men and woman have demanded romantic or business partnerships with true Christians who turned down the unbeliever, due to God’s command, “Do not be unequally yoked,” (2Cor.6:14.) Some unbelievers say Christians are “religious bigots.” In all these cases where unbelievers made unreasonable (and unbiblical) demands of Christians, no apology is needed. Jesus gives us permission to walk away from these unrighteous demands. In this case, the Christian has not harmed the unbeliever, only angered his or her selfish pride.
Finally, when one person truly hurts another, if the offender was not a true Christian, then we need to explain that truth. Many agnostics, deists and atheists do not pretend to be Christians, so they do not understand the Judas types, people who pretend to be Christians. As a result, these worldly people are hurt or angry when the fake Christian acts in selfish, sinful pride. That behavior contradicts the Scripture. Even without reading the Bible, nonbelievers know such sin severely contradicts God’s word.
I want to make a special note about some fake believers from specific churches. Some churches do not affirm the Bible. Some believe Jesus is a created being, brother to Satan. This church denies the Scripture that says “Let US make man in our image,” (Gen.1:26a.) Other churches say Jesus is man and not God. Some churches claim God hates sinners, and the leaders of those churches spout condemnation. Some churches create man-made rules of legalism that God never intended. These are cults, not true, Bible-believing churches, and the members are not true Christians. Nonbelievers mistake members of these churches for true believers. The members of these churches misrepresent the Lord and true Christians, especially when they hurt nonbelievers. We need to let nonbelievers know this does not reflect the heart of Christ nor the Bible.
If these offended people will listen to us, we need to teach them about fakes, like New Testament Judas Iscariot, Ananias and Sapphira, and Old Testament frauds like King Saul and King Ahab. These people acted like true believers but had not surrendered their lives to Christ. We can reassure the offended worldly people that God is also offended by these frauds. In last week’s post I discussed frauds like these people and how God confronted their lack of true Christian faith by saying, “I never knew you, get away from me, you evil doers,” (Matt.7:23.) God has never known such people as his own Christian children. Those grossly sinful people are not true believers.
So while true Christians will sin at times but repent, fake Christians will often sin and not turn from their sin nature, because that’s all they know. But we have another answer we can give unbelievers when they feel hurt or angry about offenses of humans (from Christians or fake ones.) God did not cause the offense. Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man that he should lie.” God is not guilty.
Jesus, who is God, is also the only human who never sinned. Pontius Pilate and his wife, the Roman Centurion, Judas Iscariot, Herod and many others (all of these were not even believers) affirmed Jesus was innocent. Jesus has never harmed people, even when others did. Even when people don’t get a “Yes” answer to all of their demands, and life does not go the way they want, Jesus did not harm them. He has good plans for their lives (Jer.29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”) but humans don’t understand his plans for them (Isaiah 45:15, “Truly, O God of Israel, our Savior, you work in mysterious ways.) God’s being mysterious and not giving people all the answers does not constitute God harming those people. Their pride and desire to be in control are offended, but not their heart. These nonbelievers are making unreasonable demands of God, just like some make of Christians
Remember, true Christians don’t have to apologize when worldly people claim offense after the believer refused to submit to unreasonable demands. So also God does not need to ever apologize to any human (believer or unbeliever) because God is sinless and never harms us. He may discipline us (Deut.8:5 “Think of it, as a parent disciplines a child, so the Lord your God disciplines you for your good.”) God never harms us, even when he refines us with discipline.
I have not exhausted all the ways people claim Christians offended them, but I hope this gives you an idea of how this happens and also gives you ideas for answering these claims. Actually, by answering unbelievers’ concerns about being offended, you may also have an opportunity to explain why you love the Lord, (1Peter 3:15b, “If someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this with gentleness and respect.”) When we are gentle and respect people’s concerns, they realize we care about them. Then they are more open to hear the Gospel.
Instead of becoming defensive when unbelievers say they are offended by Christians, we can become welcoming. If we see their anger, worry, sorrow and any other emotion as an opportunity to offer comfort, unbelievers are more likely to open up to us. Jesus did this, and he won many hurt people to God’s kingdom.
I pray we have blessed you with this post. Thanks for joining us this week!