Do we passively reject God’s good plans for us by forgetting his Word? Do we harshly criticize ourselves or others or under-value them or ourselves? Do we under-believe what God can do in us and in others? I have fallen for all of those sins. I have to actively accept the dignity God offers me. God sees me as beautiful and valuable, because He is beautiful and valuable. I must remember that since he dwells in me and in many other people too, I must not let myself be abused, nor snap at others and hurt them. Because he is in me and in some others, I must actively protect this value.
Jesus does not deserve being yelled at, or called bad names (as some have done to me.) Jesus deserves my patience and kind words. He deserves having his good nature recognized. His good plan for my life deserves my hope in those plans. He loves others too, so I must treat them the way I should treat him. Would I want to lash out at Jesus, not be patient with him, not wait for his timing (which my mind might think is too slow)? Should I not treat others, and myself with this patience and hope? I need to see Jesus in myself and in others, so I neither permit cruelty done to me by others, nor act out, because I feel pain and hurt. Even if I act in a way that is “less mean,” than how others treated me, being “a little mean” is still poison.
Harsh though it sounds, I need to vomit out of me all the cruelty of those who have hurt me (whether abusive people, or even mean lies my culture tells me.) I need to violently “vomit” these lies out and not just passively hope I can forget the bad things people have said to me and done to me. Then I need God to remind me when I unconsciously return to those lies (Proverbs26:11 “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”) I need God to remind me so I quickly turn from believing the lies and then end up perpetuating them upon others in the form of my impatience and snapping at them.
This requires I keep my mind alert. I must actively scan my life so I can sense when a lie tries to get me to be unkind or allow others to be mean to me. I don’t just “flee youthful lust,” (2Tim.2:22), but I also flee the abuse coming from others, such as words they say. I need to discern and read people so I am better prepared to interact with them. I don’t want to hurt others when I do not realize they are grieving or tired. I also don’t want to trust people who lie and take advantage of me. If I need to know what is in people’s hearts, I want God to help me better understand them, so I do what he wants me to do. That might mean I give more of my time and attention to some, but less to those God calls me to back away from. Sometimes God does not tell me what another person needs, as happened with the Shulemite woman when she interacted with Elisha. In 2Kings4:27b Elisha told his servant, “Leave her alone, for she is in bitter distress, and the Lord has hidden it from me and not told me.” I need to ask God to guide me so I ask him what he wants me to do (and be) so I can help others or avoid those I should not help.
We might fear other peoples’ anger or disappointment and then sinfully covet having them like us instead of loving them first. This is a sin, because God never promised all people would like us or approve of us. When that desire pops up, I can ask God to remind me that he already approves of me. If I am feeling extra needy, I need to ask God to fill me up again so I can again believe that God gives me enough. If there is still something I want, and I lack it, that means God does not want me to have it right now. Some desires can only be met in heaven. In heaven I will lack no good thing. I must be patient on earth, like the weaned child who is content in Psalm 131:2 and wait for the angry, unmet desires in my flesh (these are the unrighteous desires) to calm down. If I keep falling into the same sin, I may be lying to myself and claiming I have a right to something or some behavior, that God does not call me to do. For example, I might claim I cannot hold in my anger because I am part Irish and have the Irish temper—that is just making provision for the flesh, which we are not to do (Romans13:14.)
I give in to temptation because I am spiritually hungry. For example, when I have just eaten a big meal, I am not tempted to eat more. But when I am hungry, the foods I should not eat tempt me. So it is with my spirit. If I have filled my heart with God’s love and his affirmation, I am not tempted (or not as much) by self pity and a sense of abandonment. I must do as Peter says, “Gird up the loins of your mind and be sober and rest your hope fully on the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ,” (1Peter1:13) so I can speak the good promises God made to me about loving me.
Yet I must be careful to feed my soul. When I am reading a book of lamentation, like Job, I may not read about God’s effusive love and affirmation. Yes, I can sympathize with Job or others who suffer. But, because this area is a huge temptation for me (people pleasing because I want affirmation), I remain spiritually hungry, even after reading those passages. Thus I also need to meditate on God’s love after reading those lamentation passages in Scripture. I need extra Bible reading. Perhaps I might I remind myself of Bible verses I memorized about that lavish love, or I might look up those verses or post long passages on my desk so I can read them over and over. The Bible verses of lament may not meet my spiritual need, so I might need to add to my Bible reading that day.
When I meditate on God’s lavish love, his doting on me and his affirmation of me, I get filled up. But I cannot passively “want” God’s love. The Christian life is a workplace and a battle field. Passively “Resting in the Lord” (and hoping God will fill me) is not what God meant but instead I must first come to him, as Jesus said in Matt.11:38, “Come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.” Thus, I rest in the Lord by pursuing him and not with wishful thinking. I have to strive for the Lord and actively seek him. God says he rewards those who pursue him (Hebs.11:16), and he is found by those who seek him (Proverbs8:17.)
When I am exhausted, of course I call out to God. I cannot strive, read my Bible, and recite memory verses 24 hours a day. There are times for pure rest, just not all day long every day. I might get spiritually lazy while outwardly “doing” the right things. Sadly I might read my Bible mindlessly, not really considering what I read. I might say prayers by memory but not put my whole heart into those verses and maybe not even think about what they say to my mind and heart, thus leaving myself spiritually hungry. Like the sheep, I am prone to wander. My flesh is very willing to wander, and I will not fully “put off the flesh” (Cols.3:1-10) until I die. Yes, I “crucify the flesh daily” (Gals.5:24), but I might still forget this life is a ferocious battle. I have to be aware, not just of NOT doing the wrong things (such as getting tired and grumpy and snapping at my dear daughters), but I also need to remember to concentrate on the good and perfect thoughts about God and his gifts to me (Philippians4:8-9.) I must not only actively work to not sin but also actively speak God’s words of kindness and affirmation and esteem. And I must spend time alone (not even using my Christian radio) so I can listen to God’s gentle whispers, via the Holy Spirit.
When I pursue God’s holiness, I need to be aware of my bigger sins, areas where I am especially prone to sin. I decided I would make a list of the main areas where I am tempted, and I typed it up so I can see it during the day. I want to catch these sins when my flesh wants to act upon them. I can stop them more easily if I am aware and alerted to them. That list of sins is not a self punishment or a source of shame, but a red traffic light that tells me to stop. It is a gentle warning to remind me about the areas where I am weak. There are many sins the Bible teaches us to not do, and some are not my weaknesses. So I can get cocky or over-confident when I read about those sins and forget where I truly am weak. I do not want to congratulate myself where I am strong and forget how Satan tries to sneak up and trip me up where I am weak. I want to want remember Jesus lives in my heart and in the hearts of so many other people. I don’t want to hurt Jesus (or myself or others.) And since my biggest sin is that sense of not being enough—people pleasing and not feeling valued — I have to reflect on how much God does love and value me. I must do this actively throughout the day. When I keep this truth actively alive in my heart, I value myself and others and see Jesus in me and in them.
I pray we have blessed you with this post. God keeps strengthening me, and although some of my posts discuss ways I have been weak, I actually feel God has been strengthening me. He can show me more areas to work on, because he has strengthened me in many other areas that used to trip me up. God is so good and I am growing in my faith and joy. I pray you feel this grace and encouragement too.