Whether through abuse, lustful desires or seduction, some gals (and guys, but I will write this geared for gals), may fall into ungodly relationships and form ungodly soul ties. This term, “soul ties,” means an ungodly bond we have formed, which does not honor God, and which pulls on our soul, harming us. This is a simplified definition, and I will give examples to better clarify this. A pastor and counselor may need to help this gal with spiritual and mental healing. For this post I will not discuss the spiritual and mental counsel this gal needs, but I will address her prayer life and the dangers of these soul ties in her prayers.
Gals do not mean to fall into these ungodly bonds. If a gal has been severely abused, intimately or through mental abuse, she may have become attached to the abuser. She may either love this person, or deeply hate him (or her), but she cannot escape from this bond, due to the anger, fear and other negative emotions she has formed. Yet she knows she must forgive her abuser, and she feels she must pray for him. She may remember Biblical commands to pray for those who persecute us (Luke 6:27-28 “But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”) Yet she may not realize these soul ties will remain, even as she prays for her abuser.
Some may wonder how a believer could fall into an ungodly relationship by choice, not by directly being abused. This occurs in the form of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. These frauds are hard to detect, especially since people feel they are not to judge others. I wrote about knowing how to judge in an earlier post. We are to judge the fruit in people’s lives by their behavior. We may not know the people’s motives or the nature of their heart. Some behavior is blatantly against God, whether a person hates the Bible, Christian teaching and music and calls these “brainwashing,” or the person enjoys sinning habitually. These are people who do not love the Lord. Yet a back slidden person who sins often, but regrets her sin may love the Lord but be caught in a bad lifestyle and need help to escape.
Some men (and women do this too, but I will simply say “men” in this post) are sly in how they seduce a gal into an ungodly relationship. Whether this man is a weak believer or a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he can, over time, wear down a gal and either seduce her intimately or get her into some other dependent relationship, where the gal draws away from the Lord.
Yet she keeps praying for this man. We know circumstances are very rare when God tells someone NOT to pray for people (Jer. 7:16 “Do not pray for this people, and do not lift up cry or prayer for them, and do not intercede with Me; for I do not hear you.”) God said this to Jeremiah, prohibiting him from praying for the unrepentant Israelites. Since most verses ask us to pray for those who persecute us, we may believe we must always pray for them.
I believed this, and I was struggling to heal after I had broken off an ungodly relationship with a man, when I was very, very young. Yet the pain and sense of condemnation remained even after he was gone.
I was talking to Katey, an older, very wise woman of God, who explained this concept of an ungodly soul tie. She said the relationship with this man had affected me on a soul level, and she already knew this man was very cruel, and ungodly. He had presented himself as a godly man. He was not, but I had already fallen for him before I realized my error. I eventually told him I could not stay in contact with him, but this still did not give me freedom. I kept praying for his salvation or return to the Lord, as I was not sure of this man’s condition (today I suspect he was not saved at all, but I was so tender hearted and hopeful at the time).
She told me I must stop praying for him, but I told her I must pray for this man who might not even know the Lord. She explained the soul tie and graciously said she would take over praying for him, as my surrogate prayer warrior. She said that since the relationship had a spiritual aspect (a bad one, more in the demonic realm if it was spiritual) that praying would keep me bound to him. At the least, the prayers were keeping him in my thoughts.
Then she had me pray to submit to God to break the soul tie, again repenting of the relationship, and recommitting my life to the Lord. This was so freeing. I no longer had to worry about his salvation, and I could concentrate on God’s love for me. I could look at any sins that were old habits and may have led me into this needy relationship that tore me from God. I could finally heal and draw close to the Lord and to my friends who still needed my loving encouragement. I could think about the ministries I was involved in and simply rest in the Lord.
God is so good. He sent me Katey with her wisdom so I could get away from any spiritual bond to that destructive man and then draw close to the Lord again. As a result, I want to urge all gals, please do not carry the burden of praying for a person with whom you have formed a godless soul tie. Ask a friend to pray for that person, for you, as your surrogate prayer warrior. Let them carry this burden (Gal 6:2 “Help carry each other’s burdens. In this way you will follow Christ’s teachings.”) And if you have a friend who has suffered such a godless soul tie, you can offer to pray for her abuser too.
Thanks so much for sharing with us in this post. I pray you have been encouraged by learning about my mistakes and the way God used strong believers to come along side me when I was weak. May the Lord bless you this week!