I home school my children and offer hope to those who want to do as I do but fear the myths that make this sound impossible. I cringe at these myths, and I wonder if I might offend people who believe them. I have heard that a home schooling mother should fit a perfect mold. This lie might demand that a serious woman should laugh and joke more, an outdoorsy woman should give up her hikes, or an athletic mom should give up her fitness regime or a playful mom should become serious. Another myth says the school work has to be perfectly organized, and worse yet, the mom has to write her own curriculum, tests and the answer sheets. Too many myths suggest the home school moms should be poorly rested, disconnected from the world, prudish and in love with house work more than having fun with her children and laughing with them.
If I had heard all the myths about home schooling before I began, I might have never done this. As I began to teach my daughters, I heard from people (in person, and via internet advice columns) saying one like me should be ashamed of the way I was teaching my girls. Yes, my girls are learning academics, good manners and loving Jesus. Yes, my daughters meet the state’s requirements and are bright.
Yet somehow some people (thank God, not all) think I should not take proper care of myself. I have heard I should cut short my sleep. Whether in person or via those home school advice columns I have been scolded for exercising and eating light (I make simple meals and am not naturally a chef). I have been told I need a severe work schedule and need to do tons of house work daily, even though our home is tidy enough with basic cleaning and organizing. This might work for a person with a naturally organized personality. But every single member of my home is a free spirit (the “Perceiver” on the Meyer’s Brigg’s temperament chart—I’ll share more about God-given personality in another post). That life style would squelch every one of us!
I am happy to reassure anyone who considers home schooling, this is do-able, and can even be fun. Yes, it is hard work. But a home school mom does not need to stay up too late or get up too early. Sleep is essential, and a mom should never put chores or school before her health. As they grow, the children can participate in the chores, and the house can survive without being immaculate.
Exercise does not require great time or money. I exercise at home with some used equipment that actually works well, and I save time not driving to the gym (my future post will also feature how I do this and the inexpensive equipment I use). While I exercise, I can have my daughters nearby and answer their questions and discuss their work with them. Some exercises are so basic, I can hold a book while I do leg moves or use a finger counter so I can talk to my girls and keep track of exercise repetitions.
I eat the food I like, and I am neither a gourmet chef, nor do I offer junk food to my family. I make sure my girls receive a balanced diet: fruit, veggies, whole grain starches, and a source of protein. Often they are happy with something simple, and I can make meat in large quantities and freeze it and then reheat it in small servings. My girls went on a vegetable rebellion, and instead of fighting, we found two or three veggies they would eat (raw and chopped up) at lunch and dinner. Then I sneak in veggies like mushrooms or zucchini in a soup, or stew. I am also thankful they like spaghetti, so they get the benefit of tomato from the sauce. We avoid battles. I am glad they relish fresh fruit. This is not ideal, but we have peace in our home, and cooking does not become a tedious chore.
I have been told children must socialize competitively as much as possible, and my girls will get behind if I do not schedule multiple play dates and also schedule them in ball sports. My daughters have enjoyed music lessons (piano, violin and guitar), dance, and AWANA Bible club. When they outgrew AWANA, they joined the junior high youth group at our church. My girls interacted with children of all ages at the YMCA, before Covid shut it down. My girls also see friends at the church service on the weekend.
Every where my girls go, their teachers say they are leaders and well behaved. Ball sports are great for competitive children, but mine are artistic. My artistic girls spurned all ball sports they tried. They do not need the grind of this kind of athletic endeavor. Competitive sports are for children with that kind of personality. Instead I have talked to parents who tried to force an artistic child to be competitive, and the harm lasted well in to adult years, with an estrangement between the adult child and her parents.
They may be artists, but my girls get do physical education too. They like to play at home, whether on our trampoline, chasing the dog, riding bike, doing exercises (sit ups, push ups, etc.), doing gymnastics on a bar at home, dancing to videos and skating. When we can, we also hike and swim at the beach (we hope to resume swimming at the Y when they open up more hours too).
When one of our subjects seems boring, I do not hide my boredom and laugh with my girls over the subject. We may still cover it, but we do not stress over perfectly memorizing subjects which I realize my girls will not need for a successful life. Even though I taught in public school (and please don’t believe the myth you have to be a credentialed teacher like I am), I have also lived a long and full life, and I realize we do not have to treat every part of our books as sacred. I do not have to be as strict as I was in public school. If my girls are tired, I can allow them to sleep in a bit and even work in their pajamas.
Whether their children are in public or private school, some parents worry if their children do not get straight A’s and worry their children will not attend an Ivy League school. I know we do not have the money for such a college, and the local community college is economical. My girls will be fine if they find a subject boring and do not get A’s or even B’s in that subject. On standardized tests my daughters test far above the national average on most subjects, especially reading and vocabulary. They are articulate and can calmly speak with adults.
The myth about curriculum is scary and false! You do not need to write your own curriculum, tests, and answers. I use Abeka, and everything is written out for me. I don’t have to write worksheets, lesson plans, tests or answers.
The only myth that “flatters” me is a lie, and I do not like lies! That lie says that only credentialed teachers should home school. I may be a credentialed teacher, but today’s curriculum is written by educational experts (with even more experience than I have), and any mom can teach using a good curriculum program. A good curriculum makes teaching much easier, because it will include all the subjects you need to teach and has all the teacher’s guides, tests and test answers. We use Abeka, which is more structured, but remember I was educated in formal teaching, as a credentialed teacher. This works for me. There are programs that fit the athletic schedule of professional athletes, and programs that fit the Montessouri method, and still many other great curriculums, which cover every subject and match the state standards for each grade level. I have un-credentialed friends who have their home school graduates in college, and they are thriving. With the excellent curriculum available, any dedicated mom can teach.
My greatest concern is my children’s faith. I want to be sure they love and obey Jesus and will follow Him into eternity one day. I want their character to be strong and righteous. I want them to be kind to others, to respect their elders and those in authority. I want them to revere and care for our earth not to worship it. I want them to care about the poor and needy. I want my girls to know how much Jesus loves them, and to laugh with Him in the wonder of this life. Sin is terrible, but once we repent, we must rejoice. There is much rejoicing and laughter in our home. We do not fit the “ideal” of home schooling, but we are happy. I am not the ideal home school mom, but I am a happy and fulfilled woman, and I want to encourage other women to know they can do this too. There is no need to lose your identity to become a home schooling mom. You can be exactly who God made you and do this. I do!
* One last note, I will include information about curriculum and tips for organizing school life in a future post. Whether you are super organized or more of a free spirit like me, you can be yourself and still teach your children according to your strengths and theirs.