Finally, I offer the second part of my series about Satan’s deception using our feelings… Thanks for waiting while I interrupted the series to write “No Peace for Christmas?” (if you missed it, that was last week’s post.)
In the earlier post, I talked about intrusive memories where I thought I needed to understand why bullies had hurt and blamed me for their abuse and then felt the need to defend myself against their accusations. My prayer partner urged me to look at this problem in light of Scripture and to pray about it. She identified a Spiritual attack that I had mistaken for some unhealed memories. We might have unhealed memories where we do need to seek the Lord, and at time discuss them with a trained Christian counselor. But these memories pertained to relationships and feelings I had largely healed from (and had seen a counselor about) yet they had suddenly come up again.
My friend recognized what I did not see—that Satan was stirring up those old memories to derail my walk of Christian faith. Sometimes we need to defend ourselves, but often we do not. Sometimes, as we defend ourselves, we end up feeding the argumentative nature of bullies who attack our defenses. At those times, we need to let the Lord defend us while we remain silent. This was the case with the two people who had maligned me in the past. One is totally out of my life, and the other is far away and I might not see that person again either. I also did not need to figure out why these people mistreated me, because bullies will always be mean, even when we are kind to them.
But I also asked God why these specific memories came up, and I realized it was a personalized strategy of Satan. He chooses to attack our weak areas. For example, I grew up in a legalistic home and often hear that I disappointed God and did not do enough for him. I was reminded of every mistake I made, even accidental ones like spilling something, which a clumsy child can do without any malice. Because of all those accusations, I grew up with a guilty conscience, which many people have taken advantage of. Harsh people could push me to apologize for things I had not even done wrong. As a result, some bullies liked to have me around, because they could always look good while I looked bad. Obviously I was being foolish to accept unmerited blame, but I did not see my error back then.
Over time I have learned that I do not make all the mistakes in my relationships. Others do things wrong, and I have learned to confront people who blame me for their wrongs. This has caused me to lose some unhealthy friendships, which gave me relief, joy and more energy. With that strength I have been able to work on healthy relationships, ending up with reciprocal relationships where we give and take. But Satan remembers my past, and he likes to pull me back into that artificially guilty conscience where I believe I am wrong, or where I think I have to fight to prove my innocence. With God and healthy friends, I never have to fight to prove I am innocent. But Satan wanted to arouse my fear of being harshly accused.
With that fear, he brought up those old memories of accusers, and I fell for the bait, because it was so familiar. That was so much a part of my past. I did not see this as a trick, because this is one of my weak areas. If I am not careful, I can still surrender and accept blame for things I have not done wrong. And since I hate feeling like I am horribly wrong, I foolishly scramble for answers to those old accusations. How silly to think up defenses against people who are not even in my life right now! But Satan knows how to sneak into our minds through our weaknesses. Satan had introduced the idea that somehow I might see these people again. That was enough for him to plant those silly ideas.
If I had just considered the situation logically I would have seen how senseless it was. But I kept the whole problem to myself and in quiet moments I mulled over the situation. It was not until I told my prayer partner that she recognized that I had been duped into wasting emotional energy (and time) mulling over a problem that I did not even need to face. The Lord comforted me with the simple Bible verses, from Jeremiah 31:29-30, “In those days people will no longer say, ‘The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge. Instead, everyone will die for their own sin; whoever eats sour grapes—their own teeth will be set on edge.” As I shared two weeks ago, God reminded me that he knows the bullies are guilty of their sins, not me.
Satan did not trick me with weaknesses I don’t relate to, because some vices do not tempt me to sin. My weaknesses lie in areas like fear and self esteem. So these are the places where Satan works to trick me. He also used solitude, because I had not shared this concern with others. It was only after I shared this concern that my prayer partner recognized what was wrong. This is why the apostle said in his book, James 5:16, “Confess your sins, one to another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James expands on this in verses 19-20, “My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: ‘Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
When we are with true Christians, who are kind and safe, we find no shame in sharing our weaknesses. This is why Satan wants us to keep our worries and weaknesses from others. Kind people will not condemn us, even as Christ does not condemn us. So Satan wants us to hide our weaknesses. It is in this darkness that Satan can keep us confused or hurting, as I had been when I kept mulling over those uncomfortable memories. I am so glad I finally told my dear friend, and thankful she had the courage to confront me with her admonition. She was right, and I got back on the right track.
So if you have areas where you feel weak or vulnerable, be aware Satan will use these to attack you. And he will shame you to not share these concerns with others. Satan will tell you they are such small concerns, that you should not burden others with them. But God cares about all of your needs, and some kind Christians feel this way too. They want to comfort you. We just need to be careful about the people we choose to confide in, since some people are not true Christians. Furthermore, some people are weak in their faith, so they might condemn us. But when we pray and find kind and godly people, they can be like the Christians Paul admonished in Gal.6:5 “Dear Brothers and Sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.” We can help our brothers or sisters who are falling into sin or just weaknesses.
We just need to be honest with ourselves and the Lord to assess where we are weak and where we could be tempted so we guard those areas of our lives. For me, fear and timidity, as well as a defensive side that feels falsely guilty can move me in the wrong direction. These are areas where I need to be careful. I urge you to find safe people to share your concerns with. And when you have these people in your life, don’t hide your concerns, especially any thoughts that continue to nag you, as those intrusive memories had been nagging me. They had been daily burdens (in fact repeated through the day) but the minute I asked God about them, he brought that verse from Jeremiah, and I prayed, in agreement with the Lord about it. The memories and the heavy, guilty feeling instantly stopped. Now, if one of those bad thoughts pop into my mind, I just remind myself of that verse from Jeremiah, and I tell the Lord. The bad memory evaporates before I can even feel heavy or bad. I just feel the love of God and his tenderness for me.
I pray we have blessed you this week with this post. If you have ever experienced anything like this, please let me know so I can pray with your or encourage you too! May the Lord bless you!