A conflict exists with some pastors saying, “Don’t try to ‘find yourself,’ because you already have your identity in Christ.” Yet some people (even Christians) say they need to ‘find themselves,’ because they are still confused about who and what they are. Perhaps these two groups believe they disagree, but instead their definition of “finding yourself” is not the same.
We have our identity in Christ. He has redeemed us (Gal. 3:13), and he calls us by name (Isaiah 43:1). We are his beloved (Col. 3:12), chosen (Eph. 1:4-5) and bride (2 Cor. 11:2). This identity reassures and comforts us.
Yet people differ vastly in many ways, from their personality to their spiritual gifts. I have already discussed many aspects of personality, temperament and languages of love in three prior posts. For now, I want to discuss the spiritual gifts. Scripture shares the lists of gifts in Romans, 1 Corinthians, Ephesians, and 1 Peter. The spiritual gifts consist of specific abilities: Leadership, Administration (organizing),teaching, knowledge (to learn & know or explain the Bible), wisdom (discern Holy Spirit’s work and apply it), prophecy (proclaim God’s word), discernment (recognize truth in life), exhortation (enthuse and motivate others), shepherding (look out for other’s spiritual welfare), healing, speaking in tongues, faith (trust God in even harsh circumstances and encourage others), evangelism (share Gospel, build up church), apostleship (motivate others, church planter) service/Helps (physical and practical help), mercy (show compassion), giving (generous with resources), hospitality (make others feel welcome).
What if a gal grew up in a church with dominating leaders or members who preferred certain spiritual gifts over others? What if a gal wanted to please her leaders or fellow church members, and thus she tried to work in a ministry that was not to her gifting? This gal could use all of her energy and force herself to perform in a ministry, but when she came home, she could be exhausted and deeply discouraged.
This happened in the early church as seen in the book of Acts. The apostles said they could not wait on tables for poor widows (the apostles did not have this gift of service at this place), but they needed to dedicate their time to studying and teaching the Word of God (Acts 6:2). They needed to use their gifts of teaching, evangelizing, being apostles (and perhaps a few other gifts).
Yet the poor widows needed food. Peter said for them to choose seven capable men to serve the widows and help with their practical needs (Acts 6:3). These seven chosen men did have the gift of serving. These seven men found joy in using the spiritual gift of service. Conflict resolved once the church members were able to use their correct spiritual gifts to minister.
I believe it is possible for a gal to lose her sense of identity, even in Christian ministry. If a gal is gifted in a spiritual discipline, she will enjoy this ministry. She may work so hard she is tired, but this will be a joyful satisfied tired feeling that tells her soul,” I can’t wait to do this another day.”
The exhaustion and discouragement a gal feels after doing a ministry is a warning. Sometimes the people involved may have quarreled or resources are too limited (like not having enough food to feed the homeless). This discouragement is situational and does not mean a gal is in the wrong ministry or using the wrong gifts.
But if a gal always feels exhausted and discouraged any time she “tries” to use a certain spiritual gift, this is likely the wrong ministry for her, at least for this time in her life. We can force ourselves to use certain spiritual gifts, for a season, if the need is intense and workers are too few. But the gifts we are most deeply ingrained with are the ones we can use over and over and find joy in doing so. For me, offering mercy comes easily. I like to visit nursing homes. The tired, hurting and discouraged people never wear me out. I am happy to offer them comfort. But I am not an administrator, and I rely on others to organize the ministry events at my church. If an administrator at my church had to switch with me, we would both end up frustrated.
There are online tests for a gal to figure out her spiritual gifts. And if you look back at your life and consider when you felt the most fulfilled in serving God, you may also figure out your gifts. In your private time with God, ask him to confirm your gifts. Then ask Him to guide you in using these gifts. When you work out of the strengths God has given you, you will be successful. It is not wrong to enjoy being the unique person God has called you to be. It is not wrong to NOT volunteer for ministry opportunities where you know you are a poor fit. God does have a place for you, and it is OK, to “find yourself,” meaning figure out how God has gifted you, so you can better use those gifts for him. You likely already know how much he loves you, so that identity is already set. So enjoy the journey of finding out this other aspect, how God can use you, and how you can find joy in serving him. This aspect of “identity” takes time to discover, and if you let God lead you, the journey will be rewarding.
This is a really helpful post. I have often found myself thinking that I should be like other people when it comes to serving. But now I realize I am doing the type of service Jesus has gifted me to do. You make lots of great points to consider. Thank you so much.
Angela, as always you encourage us too! Thanks for your love and support.