Bringing the Lord into our fears
There are two ways of dealing with future problems that can harm us. First, some people fear possible future problems and speak “What if,” such as “What if I fail?” The second set of people say we should never think about the future and possible problems, because we have faith God will care for us. Sadly, both of these methods can harm us, so let’s look at better ways of dealing with future problems.
The first group of people worry about their future, considering all the bad things that could happen to them. They might try to think of ways to fix their future problems but always with fear and sometimes even with exaggeration of the problem. The Bible calls this borrowing trouble from tomorrow (Matt. 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”) Often the things we worry about either do not happen, or they turn out to be so manageable that we have less trouble with the problem than we did with the worry in the days prior to dealing with the problem. In those cases, we actually suffered only before the problem, but were fine (or minimally bothered) when it happened.
But the second group of people may be masking their actual fear when they say we should not think about future problems and only face them as they come. In theory, this sounds noble. But we humans are not as noble as we imagine. Jeremiah (in 17:9) said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” We imagine we have set aside our worries. But worries can harbor, deep within our heart and fester there. Do you ever feel stressed or have trouble sleeping? Sometimes our worries hide and then creep up when we are sleeping, via our restless dreams. Not all restless dreams come from suppressing fears we have. But too many of those stressful dreams do come from issues we have not dealt with.
So, although not thinking of our future-very-big-problems may sound noble, I believe there can be another way to deal with our very big concerns about the future (not the small ones). Our small concerns and fears truly may be easy to ignore, and when we finally face them, since they were never a big concern, we are fine. These concerns were so small, they never dug into our hearts. When I speak of the big concerns, I am referring to the problems that are significant and matter where we care the most. For example, I was a bit concerned about a busy day I would have recently. But I planned a bit for it and then forgot about my cares. When the day came, I did move much faster (no time for a leisurely pace), but I got everything done I needed to do and was able to attend an event for my daughter, Lindsey. Everything was fine, and I had not thought too much about the busy day prior to the actual event. This was a minor concern.
My big concerns deal with loved ones and my ability to care for them. I had feared the possible death of my daughters, because my older brother, Mark, lost his only son (who died in his twenties). My daughters were very young when their older cousin died. As a result this fear entered my heart. I could try the method of saying, “I won’t think about the future. If my daughters die one day, I’ll face that trouble then.” My problem was that this fear lived in my heart, in the present, and I never did “nobly give my fear to God.” The best I could do was ignore it, but it crept up with a vengeance. So with advice of an older and wiser woman, I used a different method. I imagined my daughters dying (not imagined how—just the idea of finding out they had died). But I did not face this terror alone. I pictured Jesus with me, comforting me, while I grieved my daughters’ death. I could sense his calm and love if I was facing such an awful loss. I even thought of myself still having a life without my beloved girls. I realized the foster-to-adopt programs in California allow for older foster parents. I could foster other children. They would never replace my beloved girls, but those foster children would need hugs, and I still would have a heart to love children. Perhaps God would provide a child who could fit in my home and who needed to be adopted. I could adopt him or her.
Also, I could work with children through teaching. I could volunteer at my church. I faced the many things I COULD do, if I suffered my worst nightmare and lost my girls to death. By realizing Jesus would be with me, I could understand the comfort he would give me. There would always be a hole in my heart if even one of my girls died. I would be scarred for life. But I realized the whole terrible situation, with God by my side. And I considered the ways God would care for me in enabling me to love other children. I found hope on the other side of my terrible fear. I found that hope by bringing God into the terrible fear I had suffered from for so long. I found an amazing freedom. So I did face the “What if,” yet with God’s grace.
I am not “married” to any of the things I considered when I contemplated the horror of losing one or both of my girls. I would do whatever God called me to do if that happened. I just needed to consider the good things God would enable me to do to still find joy in a life so suddenly darkened by that tragedy. With any difficult situation, I can consider myself facing the pain or fear and even finding things that could still bring me joy, all while God is there comforting me. I don’t have to do the exact things I thought of, if the bad things happen. I just need some hope to face any difficult future, and those were the considerations I had at the times I contemplated the difficulties. The most important thing I am learning to do is to consider the Lord by my side if I ever have to face very hard circumstances. I have always chosen to be flexible when I have, in fact, faced hardships. Some things that seemed like good ideas, years earlier, may not even be viable in the time of struggles. But that hope in the Lord lasts.
I can also look back at some very hard and scary experiences I have suffered and realize God saw me through them. He gave me as much courage as I needed in the moment. As an adult I have done emergency CPR on a stranger I had met (80 year old man) and revived his breathing. And I had not trained in CPR since I was a child in Girl Scouts. I faced the end of my first marriage, although the man was very abusive, even physically. Still I loved the man, and the end of the marriage cut my heart. But God saw me through, and I did later remarry, and I am now a mom too! So I can look back at times that were very hard and realize God took the best care of me as he needed to do at the time.
So I do not ignore the future and pretend I am not afraid. I am just not that noble. I have a fearful side, and I need to face my fears. I also do not come up with concrete plans that I insist I must follow if something bad happens. I just get ideas for the future. Nor do I fear the future without considering how God has been there for me in the past. I can envision a future with him comforting me, even if I suffer terribly in the future. God is good. He sent me his son, to die for my many sins, and to cleanse me so I can go to heaven. As such, I can trust him to see me through future hardships.
So I pray I have comforted you and given you permission to not try to be “noble” and ignore any fears you really have not given up about future problems. And if you often find yourself worrying about the future, I pray I have offered you some tools for dealing with those fears from now on. I have memorized 2Tim1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power and love and a sound mind.” Fear or timidity may try to initially enter my mind, due to my personality (or childhood beliefs), but I don’t have to remain in fear. I can reject that fear, consider a future where God comforts me, and I will find peace and rest in my today!
Thanks for joining us in this post. May the Lord bless you this week.