A friend of mine asked me to pray for her to re-discover her passion for God. She felt dry in her Christian walk, despite being a Christian for decades. Another friend, also a super strong Christian, told me this would be a great prayer for her. Both of these women attend church faithfully, read their Bibles, love serving God, and love other Christians. Neither woman has walked away from her faith or even participated in any addictive sin {surely they’d say they sin, but nothing defiant against the Lord}.
So why do some veteran Christians feel distant from God at times?
Although I’m feeling very close to God right now, (very loving toward Him and very aware of his love), I have also had times when I did not feel close to God. I lacked my passion for God, and thus I understand my friends’ sense of “emotional distance” from God. Their minds are still strong in the Lord (they know God’s will, his doctrine and such). They love him and know he loves them. But they feel like their hearts are not as excited about God. I do not believe this is a sin. I think it comes from different seasons in a woman’s life. In the case of one of my friends, she is a very hard worker, and her job is demanding. She gives her all at work. Then she comes home and still needs to do any house work she can, interact with her husband, and crash in bed before she gets up early again. She also does house work on the weekend and serves at a local assisted living home. She is giving so much that having peaceful quiet time is a luxury she has to give up sleep to afford. This can become exhausting.
At times I wonder if the exhaustion may be part of why she does not feel her passion. She so faithfully reads her Bible, but sheer human tiredness can quench any fire for God. I think of Martha (so busy in the kitchen and not sitting at Jesus’ feet), yet my friend has work she genuinely needs to do (unlike Martha who came up with too-elaborate plans). And unlike Martha, my friend does get up early and she does listen to God. I wonder if part of her lack of passion may just be her being in a season of intense work. At times I sense that “just showing up for the Lord,” is enough. But even if it is enough, it can still feel very dry. This is why I am praying for my friend. I don’t have the answer for how she can find that passion, so I also pray for her to have rest and the ability to set aside any activity she absolutely does not need to do.
In my life, I lost my passion for the Lord due to spiritual abuse. I was married before my current husband. The former spouse was physically, verbally, financially and spiritually abusive, although at times in subtle ways. He would twist Scripture to try to force me to adhere to his every whim, even to his lies. I felt confused, and for a season, I did not read my Bible, for fear I would read something he had claimed was speaking against me. When he left me, although I felt pain, I also had a sense of freedom to peek at my Bible. I realized this man had never used the Psalms against me, so I began to read the Psalms and felt such peace. Then I also realized the man had never used the Proverbs against me, and I continued in my reading. As I read, I did not find a single passage of Scripture that condemned me the way this man had done. I read my entire Bible again, and had such joy again too.
So in my case, I lost the passion, because someone lied to me about God, and I (so foolishly) allowed myself to believe those lies. Today I fiercely defend my relationship with God. I do have critics (some are very mean people), but they can never come between me and God and my Bible. With the Holy Spirit’s help, and because I have read my Bible so many times, I can clearly see how much God loves me.
Sometimes hardship can also cause a woman to lose her passion. If she is serving others (perhaps taking care of another individual who cannot care for him or her self), she may feel like she has lost herself, (like I described in my last post, “You Matter: God says so,”) and thus she believes she does not matter. If she feels this way, she likely also does not feel the “God passion,” because she has lost her joy, and God seems so far away.
Many kinds of hardships can dull our sense of closeness to God, often when we are not in sin. When we are pressed down, we may feel despair, like Paul did in 2 Cor. 1:8b, “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.” He despaired of life, yet God did save him, and eventually Paul found his joy and passion again. We are neither wrong for lacking passion during despair, nor are we guilty of causing the despair, if this is a spiritual challenge like Paul experienced or is of a nature we did not cause (suffering we did not create).
Some of a person’s sins can cause despair, such as the results of sinful actions by an addict (drug, alcohol or other addiction). In those cases they feel the impact of the bad things they did and may reap the seeds of their sin (sickness, jail time, loss of friendship after betraying those friends, etc.). But I am referring to despair that comes from circumstances beyond our control. What we feel (our lack of passion) may simply be sorrow or exhaustion. At those times, we can cry out to God, for rest, and we may even need to seek physical rest or ask another person to help us.
Thus I must emphasize that often when we do not feel “passion for the Lord,” we are NOT in sin. We must not condemn ourselves for our physical state (which can cause emotional changes) or our sorrow.
When I was abused by the man who is now the ex-husband of my past, I likely suffered exhaustion, both physically (working 2 jobs to try to pay off his extreme debts, while he kept spending), and emotionally (sorrow, due to his abuse).
Exhaustion can even mimic depression. My children’s pediatrician once joked, “It’s not ‘postpartum depression,’ but ‘postpartum exhaustion’.” She didn’t mean moms might not have depression but meant the moms suffered exhaustion, which can feed depression. After his amazing victory over the false prophets of Baal, Elijah became frightened and physically exhausted from a long journey without much rest or food. At this point, Elijah said (1King 19:3), “It’s more than enough, Lord! Take my life because I’m no better than my ancestors.” He was afraid and so exhausted, he spoke as a depressed person. The rest of the story is in 1Kings 19:4-14. God fed Elijah with bread and water and told him to sleep. Then God fed him again. Then Elijah went on a long journey and went to sleep again. Only after Elijah had eaten, drunk, and rested did God give Elijah another project to do. Only after Elijah had rested did he find his passion again.
There are other ways to find our passion too, but we have to be careful that we are not lead astray. For example, some pastors say we must find our passion again by serving others. Sometimes this is true, if we have not been serving. But I want to reassure women that serving is not a requirement when a gal is already serving and exhausted. At other times, a gal might need emotional refreshment, like time with a beloved friend who listens to her and encourages her. Remember that “Jonathan helped David find strength in the Lord,” (1Sam.23:16). Being isolated can cause a gal to feel dry and lacking in passion. Please make sure you are spending time with gals who lift you up. Being around negative people can actually make you feel less passionate about the Lord, because a negative spirit can corrupt your heart. Look at Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” This does not mean we cannot comfort truly hurting people, but if they are prone to a critical, complaining spirit, they might bring down our spirit too.
One method I have heard of for finding a gal’s passion is praising God (including listening to beloved praise songs this gal really likes), and in only seeking gentle fellowship with God. I mean gentle in the sense that we are not pushing ourselves too hard in our prayer and Bible time but are reading passages that calm us, comfort us, and we are gentle in our cries to God. We are not saying, “Push me, Lord so I can do more,” or “I need to learn more and more.” We may, for a season, need to read the passages of Scripture that bring us joy, whether this is Palms or other passages that especially feed our souls. Yes, it is good and right to read the entire Bible. But when we have a broken leg, we change our exercises (maybe sit and do arm exercises). The same is true of our Christian walk. If we feel dry, it is not wrong to stop where ever we were in our Bible reading and instead go to the passages that bring us this joy and comfort. It is OK to read the same passage over and over if it comforts us. We have our entire life time to read the difficult passages of Scripture and memorize Scripture and more. But when we feel dry, it is OK to find the comfort our soul needs.
One final thought is about our feelings. Are we angry or grumbling? Are we afraid? Do we have any hidden pride or unforgiveness? Are we confused about something and stressed about not finding an answer? Our feelings can also conflict with our passion for God. We may need to look at our emotions and tell God anything we feel strongly about. We may need to ask him to help us sort out those feelings. We can express the feeling, cry or feel angry if we need to, and then that strong feeling doesn’t keep bouncing around in our hearts and minds, controlling us. Unexpressed feelings can actually control our thoughts and our lives. After that we may need to make changes in our thinking and take any action we need too. The feelings we do not deal with can dull our passion for the Lord.
The thoughts behind our feelings do the same thing. Our thoughts drive our feelings, but we may need to understand what we are feeling, and then what we are thinking. In my posts, “Embracing Grief,” and “Don’t Go it Alone,” and “What are you feeling,” (among others) I talk about the importance of figuring out what we are feeling and getting out those feelings. Then we can also work out what we are thinking so we can get our thoughts right with God. Satan would like us to believe lies, and often they are so subtle, they seem harmless. Thoughts like, “I have to work hard, even when I am tired,” or “I’m not doing a good enough job,” may seem inspiring. Yet they can actually be harsh attacks from Satan who wants to push us harder than our gentle God who says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28-30).
At times God may not tell us exactly why we feel dry, but if we are sincere in our Bible reading and prayers and in our listening to God, we can trust that the passion will return. “Just showing up for God,” is a valid way to live our Christian life when we cannot find any reason for feeling dry. The passion will return when God is ready to supply it in this case.
I have not covered all the reasons for a gal to not feel her passion, but I pray I have inspired you to look at each one of these and check your own heart any time you feel dry in your Christian walk. Encourage your friends to do the same. I pray this has been a gentle post, because I love the verse that says, “He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious.” (Matt. 12:20). God will not crush those who are hurting and struggling but will lift them up and give them hope. I pray I have done this for you. Yes, it is good to sort out your feelings and your energy level (and other things) to see if you can figure out why you feel dry in your Christian walk. But please never feel guilty or condemned. The fact that you love God and want to find your passion is proof of your love for God. He knows you love him, and he is faithful to guide you in this precious walk of faith. Thanks for joining us in this post!