…when we don’t agree but still love
Compassion and forgiveness need to be the words we substitute for what many people call tolerance. People mistake the term “tolerance” for “agreement.” But these words have nearly opposite meanings, and God shows people the difference between these definitions throughout Scripture.
The Webster Third College edition dictionary says the definition of “tolerate” is “to permit, recognize, respect others’ beliefs without agreeing with them or to put up with something not especially liked.” The same dictionary says that “tolerance” means “being tolerant of beliefs different from one’s own.” Hence tolerance means we recognize beliefs we neither believe nor like. We respect someone’s right to be different, even wrong. Tolerance, by its definition, means we do not agree with what we tolerate as God has shown us in the Scriptures. God has tolerated humanity’s sinful nature for eons but still hated that sin. Never accept a false definition of tolerance. Let’s explore God’s tolerance so we can tell the truth about sin and then offer his grace for the repentant and stand strong against lies when people demand we accept their false sense of tolerance.
God is pure, perfect, kind and good and loves us unconditionally, and there is no sin in him. (Psalm 5:4 “You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness; no evil dwells within you.” And Habakkuk 1:13a “But you are pure and cannot stand the sight of evil.”) God says he hates sin (Psalm 101:3 “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.” And Psalm 45:7a “You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.”) God also hates fake sacrifices where people lie and cheat and hate others and try to look good afterwards by offering sacrifices (Proverbs 15:8 “The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is His delight.” And Amos 5:21-22 “I hate all your show and pretense—the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won’t even notice all your choice peace offerings.”)
God’s hatred of sin infuriates people who distort the true meaning of tolerance. This has been true since the birth of the first human being, Cain (Genesis chapter 4). He was furious that God did not accept his sin-tainted sacrifice, while God accepted his brother Abel’s righteous sacrifice. Cain killed his brother over God’s intolerance of Cain’s sin and acceptance of Abel’s righteousness. Mankind has always hated God for calling out their sin, and at times people have killed the righteous people, just because God accepted them and their sacrifices.
From the ancient Israelites to modern people, many hate God’s grace and mercy, because only sinners need grace and mercy. The angry people deny their sin and cling to pride as they deny that they need grace and mercy. Yet God continues to offer sinners his love, by offering himself to them, like he did in Hosea 2:19 where he said to Israel, “I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion.” God also used godly men as priests and prophets of old to identify with people, so these good men could love the Israelites the way God does. Even our sinless Savior Jesus identified with us, by being born a man and living in human pain and weakness. This showed us how to identify with people’s weaknesses so we could love them. When we admit we are weak to the people we minister to (those we “tolerate”), they can see we understand them instead of judging them. But this only comforts those who admit they are sinners. The self righteous will not accept our weaknesses, comfort and forgiveness, because they will not admit they are wrong.
We want to use our knowledge of God, not as a weapon to hurt those who are self righteous, but as a gift from God to them. We only share as much of the Scripture as we sense the Holy Spirit leading us to do. Otherwise our knowledge could destroy them, if we act more holy than them. But our love helps us to die to ourselves for them. This means that when they demand we agree with them, we must tell them that while we don’t understand them or agree with them, we will patiently sit down and listen to them.
Listening like this can be really hard when the people are forceful or simply very strange to us. Yet we need to hear their stories, because under their piercings, unusually colored hair, unfamiliar clothing, different sounding music, and anything else that may seem unfamiliar to us, they are fellow men and women who feel hurt and pain. They are often good at hiding their hurts, as they try to strut in the pride that our society demands of them. But under all of their bravado, an aching heart cries out for love.
Yet not all people are soft. Some, like Cain, have such hardened hearts that even if God himself spoke to them, they would deny their sin and instead attack the person who directly pointed out their sin (as evil King Herod did with John the Baptist.) With others, their righteousness shined so much brighter than their brother’s sin, so the sinner felt shamed and thus he would kill his brother, as evil Cain did to righteous Abel. Abel never spoke a single word of condemnation against his brother. But because he was righteous and Cain was not, Cain felt condemned, and he murdered his innocent brother.
So we need Holy Spirit wisdom to discern the difference between the hardened hearted people and those who have only a thin veneer of bravado and below that, much sorrow and a desire for comfort. Jesus met many women whom he addressed while they still lived in their sin, from Mary Magdalene from whom Jesus cast out 7 demons, to the woman caught in adultery, to the Samaritan woman of multiple marriages. These women only had the thin veneer of bravado. Under that, they were hurting badly, and when Jesus confronted them, they repented and then rejoiced in his love and acceptance of them. Nicodemus, the Pharisee is another such tender soul who surrendered to Christ.
But there are people like Judas Iscariot, and Caiaphas the High Priest, who has such hard hearts, they never surrendered to Jesus’ mercy and forgiveness. They died in their sins and went to Hell as Jesus confirmed of Judas in John 17:12.
We must neither argue with those who abuse our Christian faith, nor must we complain about them. We must ask the Holy Spirit to show us whether these people have a soft or hard heart. Sometimes God still wants us to talk to the hard hearted people, because they need to hear a clear presentation of the Gospel. Some, like the Pharisee Saul of Tarsus, will soften later and repent. Some like Caiaphas, the High Priest, will never soften, but God still calls us to speak to them so that they will not go to Hell having never heard the Gospel. They will still go to Hell, but by their own choice and not God’s choice, since He never sends anyone there—people choose that destination, against God’s will. God requires Christians to speak truth to some hard hearted people simply because God wants to show them his love, even though they will never accept it.
Usually we do not know the difference between the hard hearted ones who will later repent and those who will not repent. So God wants us to pray and seek his will. I have sometimes felt a strong prohibition about my sharing the Gospel with certain individuals. I have learned to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead when I sense that. At other times I have felt a strong leading to speak about the Lord, and I usually obeyed (sadly there was a time last year when I disobeyed, and I have cried desperately over that sin, even though I know God forgives me.) I know God will send someone else, but I never want to let another chance go by for me to speak about his word to an unsaved person.
Our kindness can melt hearts, and when we acknowledge we are aware of others, they often respond with gladness. Many people look so tough on the outside, but they are aching for someone to notice them. They may dress in ways that seem odd or even too sexy to us, but this may just be their attempt to try to get society to accept and love them. The world has no true love to offer, so these people continue to ache. We may not see their hearts soften the first time we show them kindness. Often I cannot initially speak about the Lord until I have shown a person that I care about her, just for who she is, and not because she thinks I care about her soul.
Over time, people can begin to recognize that our love is real and powerful. At those times, our testimony, of how God has softened our own hearts, impacts these people. At no time should we ever say we accept and affirm, as good, anything God calls sin. These people might insist that we must call their sin good, and they may say we are not loving them if we do not call their sin good. They may insist we “tolerate” their sin by saying it is good. We still cannot do that, and we can let them know we believe in a love that can call sin evil but still love the one who commits that sin. Some people want to know that love, because it is eternal.
For those who do not accept that love, they will also not accept us, and Jesus recognized people like that in Mark 6:11 when he said, “And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” Jesus had sent out his disciples to preach that they must repent of their sins, but some villagers rejected them, while some villagers accepted them. This is how it will be in our lives, but we must be patient, because some people move slowly, cautiously before they are ready to acknowledge they are sinners.
Finally, we need to realize that pride often causes people to demand we accept their sin and call it good. In Proverbs 8:13, God says, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” God hates this pride; he hates any pride. In 1 John 2:16 the Apostle John warns us, “For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.” God hates pride, and this is at the heart of this false “tolerance” the world demands Christians offer. It is a sacrifice of evil that God tells us we must never offer.
So when the world says we are intolerant and even says we are full of hate, we know that there is a hate these people feel. But it is God’s hatred of their sin, not of them as his image bearers. Every human is made in God’s image, but so many people have fallen away from God.
Here are two last passages that discuss God’s view of evil and his hatred of it. Zechariah 8:17, “Do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath, for all these things I hate, declares the Lord.” Also Proverbs 6:16-19, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
So when people demand we accept and celebrate their sin, we can respectfully decline their demand and let them know we will love them, despite their sins. They may cancel us, but we can still love them and pray for their souls. Some, like the Pharisee Saul take a long time, but they do come to their senses. And for the rest, remember that we are called to love others and not worry about them liking us. We are doing the right thing, even when the world calls us wrong.
May the Lord bless you this week as you stand firmly in your faith and conviction of the truth. Truth has a name, and it is Jesus. He will never betray you, even when the world does. Thanks for joining us in this controversial but true post.