Paul said he rejoiced in his suffering, yet when I got bad news last week, I did not rejoice, but instead felt frustrated and guilty. God does not want us to ignore our frustrations but after we feel them, God can help us to look at what he is doing, especially when we do not understand why we are struggling or making mistakes. Then we can trust God has a better plan than our confused feelings tell us. We especially need to believe in God’s better plan when we feel like we are doing a bad job handling living our lives, because often the devil is telling us we are doing a worse job than we really are.
This week my specialist pointed out several things that a blood test showed were wrong, even though I thought I was doing a great job handling my blood sugar. She was very frustrated with me and scolded me several times. Then I became upset and angry with myself, even though I thought I had done a good job before I had gotten that blood test. I wondered how I could have done things incorrectly. But when I let go of condemning myself and instead told God he would need to guide me, I felt peace. I had not even considered that Satan might be blinding me to some things I had not considered before. I had to look at what God is doing in my trials, and not look at what I am doing wrong.
Paul spoke so often about his suffering that we can look at his life and find peace. Paul saw his suffering as a service that Christ left for his followers to fulfill, not the sacrifice that Jesus made. He says so in Cols.1:24, “I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church.” We serve the Lord as we suffer for him, and Paul even suffered for his congregation, since he suffered due to speaking about Jesus to others.
I need to use my bad blood test results to serve others by sharing what changes work for me, but this is nothing compared to how Paul looked to the Lord for hope. Paul reassured us that when we suffer, as Christians, it shows us we are God’s true children, (Romans 8:17, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”) In fact, the writer of Hebrews said in 12:8 “If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” We must suffer in this life, and we will suffer more as Christians.
In the last few years I had kept my blood sugar low via a “very-low glycemic” diet and some supplements (which I had mentioned in earlier posts). For over 13 years I have not consumes refined sugar or flour. My diet is very full of high fiber vegetables, and zero foods that spike blood sugar. In the last few years my blood sugar mysteriously rose. My diet became more and more strict, but then a glimmer of hope came when medicine (for a different problem) seemed to miraculously lower my blood sugar. I only had to take that medicine for 12 weeks, due to a systemic fungal infection I had been unable to overcome for 2 years.
That medicine lowered my blood sugar so much, and I thought I was “cured” of struggles I had suffered before. Although I still do not eat refined sugar or flour, I thought I would no longer need that strict diet, and I added a small apple, and a few extra tablespoons of oatmeal (organic, slow cook oats.) I also cut back on the nuts and sugar-free chocolate I had been eating, because these are higher in fat and felt less satisfying than the oats and apple. Prior to this my only fruit was half a small grapefruit. Now I added the other foods and I was really enjoying them. I did not think about the fact that by this January, I had been off that medicine for a few months. I did not consider that the medicine may not have cured me, but that it worked like a diabetes drug and once I was off it, I could not be so careless.
Then I got that blood test result, ouch! My specialist was very upset with me and suggested I cut out many vegetables (kale, broccoli, lettuce—all of these I ate without dressing or anything else besides herbs and a bit of strained tomato—no sugar or fat.) She wanted me to give up the tiny apple and the few extra tablespoons of oats. She actually said I must be gaining weight and should test my body fat, because it must be too high. After hearing her scolding, I berated myself. I fell into a funk feeling like a dummy. But as I prayed, I began to suspect these vegetables could not cause a spike in blood sugar. I also realized I am not gaining any weight, and my body fat is not increasing. She was being too harsh with me. I began to do research, and nothing confirmed that these foods were to blame. I also looked into whether a more plant based diet was to blame, and again the results show this is not likely. The only exception was that pea protein does not blunt blood sugar as well as whey protein does. So I will switch whey for the pea protein I take with breakfast and dinner (meals where I do not consume meat or other protein sources.)
I can make other small changes like not cooking food too long (that can raise its glycemic impact), and as I do my research, it appears I could change the supplements I am taking, and not cut out the healthy vegetables. I already know my body cannot handle refined carbohydrates like other people’s bodies can. I also remembered what my busy specialist forgot; some people have suffered a severe viral infection when they were younger, and they became type 1 diabetic. This happened to one of my friends. In this case, her diet did not cause the diabetes. I do not (yet) have diabetes, but I am “pre-diabetic,” likely due to a viral infection I had earlier in my life that has slowed down my pancreas’s ability to product insulin. While I cannot be as careless with food as some people can be, I should not throw out all common sense.
I found that one supplement (bitter melon) I took does not have a big impact on blood sugar, so I will discontinue it. But there is a supplement called CoQ10 that people’s bodies produce less of as they age. If our bodies make too little, our blood sugar rises. I am so thrilled to learn this, because it makes sense. It was the aging process that changed my ability to handle sugar, and CoQ10 will replenish what the aging process took out of me. Another supplement that can help aging bodies lower their blood sugar is Gymnema Sylvestre. So I will begin taking these and have another A1C blood test in another three months.
I realize Satan took my small mistake and made it into a huge issue, leaving me feeling like a gluttonous fool. It was a lie from the devil! I am a human doing her best with the imperfect body God supplied for her. My specialist scolded me and suggested my whole diet was a mess. But it was not. With some research, I realized I did not have to make the radical changes she suggested. She was stressed and just spoke off the top of her thoughts without doing the research.
I know some people think it is sad that I consume zero refined sugar or flour products and limit the starches I eat, including limiting fruit. These people can eat multiple servings of fruit, starchy vegetables, and even sugar treats and white flour treats, and their blood sugar remains stable. But I cannot be sad about this! Life is so much more than our diet. There is so much joy in our lives. I can remember what God is doing in my life so I don’t get hung up on such a small problem. I can joyfully remind myself of Paul’s hope-filled words, Ephesians 3:13, “I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are for your glory.”
The Apostle James encouraged me to assess my life as a whole as I look at my imperfections. He said this in James 1:2-4, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
God is doing such good things in my life. I have two beautiful, happy daughters who love me dearly. They are intelligent, strong and healthy. They love our church and look forward to attending their youth group. They listen as I have devotions and read the Bible to them. I have a strong husband.
I have a wonderful church where I can volunteer and attend women’s Bible studies. I can study the Bible and speak about God. I have good health (despite the blood sugar issue.) I have good doctors available. I can research the issues I struggle with and analyze what I do right or wrong and make changes. God is doing all these things in my life. And I can remember that as my body ages, it will have problems, but these are signs that I am closer to heaven. My death will mean I am released to see Jesus and to take on a perfect body. So I can overlook these glitches in my life and realize they are tiny sufferings compared to all Christ suffered for me (and what persecuted Christians currently suffer.)
I pray I have blessed you with this week’s post. I pray that my honesty will give you a sense of peace that even if you make mistakes like I do, God still has grace for you, like he has had for me. Thanks for joining us, and may the Lord bless you, especially when you suffer.